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Dreamboat Ainsley
09 October 2015 @ 04:47 pm

My journal is public aside from one or two entires from time to time. Please feel free to add my journal, although I may or may not add you back. It would be lovely if you left a comment on my latest entry if you do add me!
Thank you, lovely reader.

Dreamboat Ainsley
30 May 2010 @ 08:38 pm

just some pretty things to look at once and a while...


Dreamboat Ainsley
22 August 2009 @ 04:47 pm

Hi friends! I just wanted to let everyone know that I've started a BLOG! I promise you it gets updated muchmuchmuch more than this old thing does. I don't really post any of my own photography, but it's full of other inspiring photos, fashion, videos, art and other wonderful things. And I know for a fact that anyone who adds my journal is a very visual person, like myself, and would be into something like this! So check it out.
Also, if any of you lovelies have started any blogs I would love to see them!
Current Music: one more day - todd rundgren
Dreamboat Ainsley
18 October 2008 @ 07:03 pm
Dreamboat Ainsley
05 September 2008 @ 09:35 pm

I love my life on the island. I love my campus and my class. I love learning about something that I have a passion for, even if it is a little confusing. I love my new place. I love sitting in front of my warm fireplace with candles and good music and a glass of wine. I love walking through the forest and along the beach. I love seeing mountains from everywhere you go. I love the little stores in town. I love how the leaves are starting to turn gold and fall to the ground. I love how I now have an entire table dedicated to my records and record player. I love how wild deer walk around the neighborhoods and through front yards and along the roads and it is just an everyday thing. I love the friendly bus drivers. I love my teachers and classmates. Although I miss my bed, my dog, my family and friends, and my cozy little cabin house back home, everything else makes up for it and more. It was a long road to get here, but it was worth it.
Today I came across a memorial for Mack Laing at a park by the shore, and on it was this quote from him:

"Simplify. Don't waste the years struggling for things that are unimportant. Don't burden yourself with possessions. Keep your needs and wants simple, and enjoy what you have. Don't fritter your life away on non-essentials. Don't enslave yourself for luxuries. A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can do without. Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Live in the present, enjoy the present.
Simplify your life.
Be not simply good, be good for something."

Current Music: the brute choir - bonnie 'prince' billy
Dreamboat Ainsley
20 August 2008 @ 11:02 pm

I have three days left of home, and years ahead of me full of the unknown.
I have so much going on in my head, but can't find the words to express it.

Here are some songs that pull on heart strings:
on the beach
revolution blues
my my, hey hey (out of the blue)
vampire blues
(All by Neil Young)

Current Music: see the sky about to rain - neil young
Dreamboat Ainsley
14 July 2008 @ 04:13 pm

I feel like fireworks on Canada Day and pinatas stuffed with candy and aquariums filled with tropical fish and the rainbow after a storm and a garden in full bloom and that one arcade in Kyoto and a 64 pack of crayons. I can feel the anticipation of my future pulling at my heart strings. I have no mind for the present or the past, just my bright bright future. When I step outside and feel the breeze move across my skin all I can think of are the long beaches with salty waves and the lush greenery everywhere you look, and my heart tick tock ticks like a timebomb ready to go off. My family, stacks of books up to my elbow, getting an education, my future life on the island, my record collection and record player, discovering new music, pen pals, a haircut/color I finally like, plans to live in Ireland in a year or two, nice shoes, grapefruit slurpees, peppermint tea. So many good things, so many.

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Current Music: canyon girl - fruit bats
Dreamboat Ainsley
03 July 2008 @ 04:49 pm

I can't even begin to find the words to describe how I have been feeling lately. My days are spent in bed for the most part, reading and sleeping and reading some more. I feel as if I am permanently exhausted and I could sleep for days. For about a day or two, all I have been listening to is Lullatone. I wish it was snowing. I wish this year was over. My bed is piled with books and blankets and pillows. I spend hours on my computer immersing myself in art, old and new. Just another escape.

I wish I was back in Japan. In my Hiroshima hotel room, looking out to the river and the cherry blossom trees. I wish I could take my books and walk across the street to the cafe for tea and green and pink and purple macaroons. I wish I could walk again by the river, underneath the blossoming trees, feeling the paper swans under my finger tips and listening to the distant traffic. I wish I could take the train to Tokyo and loose myself in the streets all day and all night, among the lights and the smells and the crowds of people. To be alone but not alone at all. I wish I was in Kyoto again, so I could slowly make my way through all the temples, in such sweet silence. I have never known a peace as sweet as I had found in Japan. It was nestled in the gardens, in the cafes and restaurants, in the temples and on riverbanks, I found it everywhere.

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Current Music: pajama party pop - lullatone
Dreamboat Ainsley
24 June 2008 @ 12:25 am

At one in the morning I am sitting in my backyard. My bare feet, a cigar between my fingers. One inhale, one exhale. And another and another. I can feel my muscles slowly relax with each breath. I find a calming pleasure in the sting on my tongue and the sweetness on my lips. Of watching the soft, white tendrils of smoke swirl up into the purple-blue night sky. Towards the few stars I can see. The moon is hidden behind a hazy veil of clouds, and looms behind the trees, yellow and distant. I sit there until I am done, and until a chill sets into my body, seeping into my skin. Everything looks so different in the dark.

In the dark I feel his body underneath mine. His lips and fingers coaxing me towards him, further and further I go. The scruff of his beard and the soft feel of his sweater. The smoke of the bonfire still lingers in his hair and clothes, and I can taste the liquor on his lips. We all went from standing in the dark of a field, but with one instant of light and color and sound, the darkness was replaced by tremendous heat and light, and we were all visible again. Smiling faces, bright eyes, so many voices. How nice it feels to have someone underneath me, their hand resting on the small of my back. Sometimes in my bed I lie on my side in the dark and I spread out my arms and my legs and close my eyes and silently wish for someone to be there. Our limbs laced together. Soft breath on my neck. Because we are all alone in this world, and we all search for someone that will fit into us, something natural and complete. I find it hard writing about (my) loneliness. Maybe loneliness is the someone that fits into me. It does feel natural.

But the light came and I sat on the front porch beside the lilac bush. Its sweet scent wafted towards me in the cold, wet air and there I sat, draped in all my insecurities. I watched the horses in the field across the road run, graceful and free. I could watch them forever in that misty morning air, with the foxes running the grass and the lilacs blooming around me.

Current Music: seashell - seabear
Dreamboat Ainsley
18 June 2008 @ 09:05 pm

So I have a lot of time on my hands, and for the most part, I spend it all daydreaming. The other night when I was taking a long bath, I started dreaming up a future for myself.

here's what it looks like (tons of pictures)Collapse )
Current Music: give me a smile - sibylle baier